just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
