Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
