Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
