just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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