I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
