stop calling my apartment porn island.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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