i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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