shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
