Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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