Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize