Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We got so high we made milksteak
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
