her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
