I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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