I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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