I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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