Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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