I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
