yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
