you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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