don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
