Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
