Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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