Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
