i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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