Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
