My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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