how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Holy shit dude........stairs
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
