just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
