umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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