I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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