Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
