i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
