we have pet lesbian snakes
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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