we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So much rum. So many feels.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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