hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
