Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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