My room smells like vodka and shame
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
