I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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