Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize