: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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