So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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