in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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