This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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