once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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