Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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