you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
