I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
