hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
kristin has been a bad kristin
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
