they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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