Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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