i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
