Don't you send me to vm
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
