So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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