He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
