I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
