At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
