My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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