Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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