i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
