Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
