You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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