I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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