Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
