he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
