Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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