So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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