he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize