i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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