Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
