Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
